Homeostasis Resistance In Addiction Recovery

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Hello and welcome. I am your host, Joseph Devlin, and today on the show, we're going to discuss homeostasis and its mental resistance to change in addiction recovery. So let's get at it. All right. The human mind and body, it naturally seeks homeostasis and homeostasis can be defined as that state of internal balance or stability. Now this is really healthy and necessary for function of survival. For example, we've all had a paper cut, and you start to bleed, and could be a bleeder. You're getting it on the floor. It's hitting the paper, you apply a little bit of pressure to it, and then all of a sudden it starts to clot, and then it kind of forms a scab. And really, you've done nothing consciously to repair this, but the body in itself is really bringing it back to that at that healing place, that homeostasis. But this can also present a roadblock when someone is trying to make a significant change, such as stopping drinking or using a substance, when someone decides to change their behavior, especially in addiction recovery, the brain often resists the change. It will perceive this old habit, even if harmful, as part of its balanced state and as a result, when a new pattern like sobriety is introduced, the mind may try to snap back to that familiar pattern of drinking or using the resistance can feel like cravings, emotional discomfort, or even sell self sabotage. And I know many of you know, like you've had a loved one who's experienced this, and they may have, even you know, relapsed, reporting all of what I just said, and they're not able to identify it as homeostasis, and they may even report that they were baffled by this way of thinking. So to break through this a person needs to push through this discomfort, and they need to push through it long enough for the brain to establish a new homeostasis, a new normal we're not drinking or using becomes the default, and this requires intentional effort, support and often spiritual and psychological tools to stay the course. All simple, yet can be very challenging to do.

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I want to share with you a story

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in the case of Mike and I changed his name for confidential, confidentiality reasons. However, Mike had been drinking nearly every evening for over 10 years. At first it was social, then it became a way to manage stress after work, and then it came to none the loneliness, and when he decided to stop, he expected cravings. What he didn't expect was this wave of discomfort, all the anxiety, the restlessness and that self doubt that hit him hard about 10 days into sobriety. It wasn't just the physical cravings. It felt like his identity was unraveling, like who he was, and his routines and his emotions and a sense of self had all revolved around drinking, and now his brain seeking this homeostasis was trying to convince him to go back to normal. He heard voices in his head whispering things like, you're no fun without it, you can control it this time. What's the point of all of this? This is all too common occurrences

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for folks who are trying to get sober,

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and the question is, what can we do to help support our loved one? Well, this is where the family can be really helpful. See what made the difference for Mike was his sister, Jessica. She didn't shame or preach to him. We simply created this statement for her to say she had said to Mike, Hey, Mike, I can see how hard your brain is fighting you, but you're not fighting alone anymore. I believe a new normal is on its way. Let's hold the line together. Jessica didn't just offer these words of encouragement. She also helped build structure around his new pattern, doing things like inviting him for. Early morning walks, sharing uplifting messages every evening with his cravings were strong and helping him discover new hobbies, hobbies that sparked genuine joy.

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Mike often came back to me and stated to me how helpful all this was. See knowing that his sister, Jessica was there for him, it provided this other way of doing things, a way that he could begin thinking differently. He had that security that knowing his sister was there, and the encouragement and hope that there was a way out, and this is just one of many examples of the help families can utilize to support their loved one. And I think it's really important for all of us to remember the why it is so uncomfortable to change. See it's beyond the willpower. And here I'm going to make just some key points of the uncomfortability of change. And the first one here is the neurological wiring. Addiction literally rewires the brain's reward system. When the substance is removed, the brain scrambles to adjust and often causing this emotional and physical chaos. And once that that is going on, it's like the addiction was hard enough. Now all of a sudden I've got this emotions and physical chaos, kicking kicking up, and this emotional exposure. It's really this, the substance often numbed emotions. So now without them, all those feelings come rushing in the guilt and the grief and the shame and the fear and it can be overwhelming to the individual.

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Also the individual begins to have a loss of identity. It's not only are trying to manage emotions. They're starting to think, like, oh, like, how am I going to do this? Like most of us, we build routines and relationships and even self worth around the people that we that were, that we're with, and for somebody in addiction, they're doing that around drinking or using. So letting go of it feels like losing a piece of yourself and this social disconnection, the surprise the sobriety may even mean, like distancing from social circles that revolved around drinking so that isolates the person even more and creates even further discomfort. Now last I want to just talk about the homeostasis rebound, so the brain wants to return to what it considers normal, change, even good change, feels threatening to the system, and again, as if addiction wasn't hard enough. Now we have our brain kicking us back to saying, Hey, listen, let's get back to the normal. There was some safety, there was some stability in that. And you know, the alcohol or substance is no longer the solutions to maintaining those social connections or that self of identity, or being able to manage the emotions, or even being able to look at the reward system that way. So this is all happening on this neurological level, and it's like, okay, well, what can we do to break through this? And this is definitely where you come in and can really support your loved one. See, I'm going, I want to share with you some of like, like, the uncommon but powerful ways to support a loved one going through this change. We definitely know some of the supports of you know getting in contact with a professional, whether it's a treatment center counseling. We also know, you know, they're easy access to a 12 step community. However, for you to kind of you know, be that Jessica, support for somebody, you can, you can support your loved one by creating what we call micro wins. They're really like these small, achievable daily goals that could be simply like making your bed or cooking a healthy meal or going 24 hours alcohol or drug free. This really helps rewire the brain with new rewarding behaviors. So. So as you help your loved one identify them, and even when you see them, you can even encourage them in these micro ends, you could also become this meeting like this, what we call meaning mirror, meaning the fact that like you get to reflect the growth back to them. And saying things like, Hey, I noticed how clear your eyes are this week. And again, depending on the individual you know, that might upset them, but come up with something different. If that's something that you know they're not going to appreciate. Or you can also say, hey, it seemed like we were more present today together. And this strengthens this identity shift, because it's you two together, and it's you being, you know, present with one another. And it just it speaks very small words. It really speaks to the connection that the two of you have, and that you're there with them. You're on their team. You're there to support them. Another thing you can do is create safe silence zones now sometimes just quit, like sitting quietly with your loved one without fixing or talking or judging, lets them just feel safe, safe safe enough to process the inner storm. There's a lot going inside their mind, yet it's key to allow a safe place for them to process this, no judgment, no shame, condemnation, just being many times that's all we need. You know, we just need to feel safe, which allows our brain to sort through something, whatever words going on in our mind. When we feel safe, we are more apt to be able to process whatever that difficulty is that we're going through, and by simply somebody being present with somebody is enough for them to feel that safety. I can think of many times, even early on. You know when I you know early on in my own sobriety journey that I would be at loan in my apartment, and I just wouldn't feel safe so and just saddle up with them, be in their presence, and that could be the very thing that gives them that security that they're searching for. Another thing you can do is anchor their vision, remind them why they started, help them write down or even draw a vision board when they want to give up, like loving, lovingly, point them back to their own vision for healing. Many times that's going to happen the midst of this journey is they're going to want to give up, because everything I just described to you is the substance was hard enough to put down, but now I have the emotions. Now I have the social thoughts, and they're just really all these thoughts that are coming in. I mean, again, we're 200 billion bits of information per second. So we just have these constant, you know, sensory inputs that eventually it becomes, you know, overwhelming. So if, if you can help them really identify that why they want to stop it, give them that even vision board that you could even point two and say, Hey, remember you wanted to go on this vacation, or you were looking to do this at your job, or you were looking to spend more time with the kids, and you have like these visual pictures on this dream board that that many times is just enough to help through that period of frustration or even self doubt, and that's going to talk about what we call a substitute, substitution adventures. So help them try new things that can fire off the dopamine in healthy ways, right? Without the substance we're not getting that dopamine fix. So you could do things like cold plunges, and then that could be done. You can go, you know, jump and submerge yourselves in Bath. Or they could be facial cold plunges, you know, you find other ways that they can create, you know, be creative in their expressions. Maybe it's hiking or it's volunteering. You know, this, this simplicity of this novel novelty can really it can really recalibrate the reward system. I worked for years at Habitat for Humanity, and I have to tell you, was every Saturday when we'd have volunteers come in, and by the end of the day, we would thank them for, you know, their service and what they had done. And everybody would always come up to me and say, Look, I, you know, I got so much from giving that I can't even thank you enough. And we're just like, thank you and and, and for many of you out there who volunteered before, know exactly what I'm talking about, it's in the midst of that volunteering that really gets that, that change in that shift in our reward system to seeing, wow, like I contributed something here, but at the same time in my contributing, I got such back, this other feeling, this other piece, this other place that I want to do more of this, and part of that has to do with that dopamine release. So as I have outlined everything, I just want everybody to remember that like it really it takes about six days to make a change, 21 days to form a habit, and about 61 days to have the change be your common thought, really become who you are, so as you can assist your loved one through this process, you're going to be able to you've got some gages for those changes from those weeks to month to months, and you know now that you know some of these world roadblocks as well as ways to really maneuver around them, I want to challenge you to do something differently on your own end, we know that it's going to be difficult to make the change because our our minds are not going to want to do that. It wants to stay in that homeostasis. So but now you're armed with some facts about this. So notice, as you're making your change, the uncomfortability that comes up. And this change doesn't have to be huge, it can be but you know, why not try something like, you know,

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not eating after 10 o'clock, or try brushing your teeth with your left hand rather than your right. Or, hey, wearing a black T shirt on Wednesdays. It could be whatever you want it to be. I mean, you can also do, you know, starting a new workout routine, going hiking, beginning a new book. Hey, try sitting in silence for an hour every night, instead of scrolling on social media or watching television. But just notice, as you're doing this the uncomfortability and how that kind of shift happens. And then utilize some of those resources. See if you can bring somebody else in to help you. You know, feel that support to make that to make that change. And I look forward to hearing how your change affects you. And if you feel that this episode was helpful, please share it with a friend as this could be the breakthrough that they were needing to hear. So until our next episode, remember, sobriety is a family affair.