Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Hello and welcome. I am your host. Joseph Devlin, and today we're going to continue reading out of my book, a step out of darkness, chapter nine, titled, What is this 12 step program? So let's get at it.

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ram and fellowship founded in: 1935

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I'll stop reading there today.

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I want to jump back to that first quote from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, and it says, rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. And to me, that's such an important statement, because if it's not, if we don't take something serious, and we don't really follow everything everybody's doing, like it's a program that's outlined, there's a there's a fellowship, there's a program of Alcoholics Anonymous, or any 12 step program. And if we just take bits and pieces of it, it's not going to be successful and overwhelming. That is what I hear from folks who say, Hey, listen, the 12 step program didn't work for me, and I just liken it to a recipe. You know, if I try and make chocolate chip cookies and I follow all the ingredients, except for I put in raisins instead of chocolate chips, it's not going to taste the same. So it is not something that you really kind of pick and choose, even when you follow the program. It works. It says who, those of those who have thoroughly followed our path have been successful, and when you have over 258, 12 step fellowships and programs out there that have imitated what the original aa has done, it really shows you that it does work. So I think that is extremely important for everybody to realize, you know. And I also. Start off by saying, you know, really, if you look at

ay out. And you know, there's: 1000

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I'm a bad person, or have made bad choices.

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You know, I look to respond in many different ways, and some, several of them are like to attack others, to attack myself, to withdraw or the avoidance. And the avoidance had been the addiction for a very long time. The withdrawal is to set myself back in that isolation. And then the other is to, like, attack others. And many of many of us listening today know what that's like to have a loved one attack them during the midst of their addiction because it's like, hey, it's being pointed out to them that, hey, listen, you know you maybe you're not fulfilling this obligation, or you came home really late last night, or you were so intoxicated, you know, you fell asleep at the dinner table, that the individual lashes back out at them because they were feeling like a what I'll call a positive affect, meaning like they weren't they weren't feeling bad about their decisions at that very moment in time, but when it's brought to their attention, they're going to fight you on it, and then some others will just kind of become Self deprecating and just, hey, I'm such a horrible person. I am so bad. You know, I can't believe I, I came in late again. I

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can't believe I'm using again. Oh, man, I can never do this. I'm not good enough. And it really seeps into their being of who they are. And I think it's important for us to realize that this this shame and this guilt can be lifted when we look, when we get folks together and say, Hey, listen, you're not the only one out there who's had a problem with addiction. You're not the only one who've done some pretty crazy stuff within your family. It begins, there's a bonding that ends up happening, and says, Hey, listen, I see other people who, okay, they're telling me they had the same experiences with their family and, wow, they're married, they have a job, you know? They have a house, okay? It gives me hope I can get there. And what the 12 step program also offers a lot of that, a lot of hope. And you know, if I go back to this idea of taking a look at, like, you know, the ownership of our strengths and weaknesses, I think that's so often overlooked in the 12 step program, because, you know, there's a part of the program is that you're going to look at your strengths, you're going to look at your weaknesses and Hey, say, Hey, listen, I'm going to be armed with the facts about myself. Say, Hey, listen, I know this is how I operate. I know how this is how I respond in certain situations, and to be able to identify that and realize that, hey, I have a choice moving forward on how I can respond in any one of these scenarios. Most of us don't want to do that kind of work, because it really takes a reflection. We have to look at ourselves and say, Hey, man, what am I reflecting to the rest of the world? You know, how is it that when somebody confronts me on something, how do I respond? Hey, what happens when something doesn't go my way? How does, you know, what is my my natural response to things? Hey, who are the people that I'm really hanging out with? Are people uplifting me or bringing me down? What am I doing to uplift people? And you know, it's, it's a it becomes a choice on how I want to live my life. And it's why there's 258 fellowships out there, because there's many of us suffer from some problem, and we don't have a way out. We don't we think that, you know, you know, with the same mind that I have that created this problem, I'm trying to think my way out of something, and as Einstein says, that's impossible. We can't do that, right? Cannot solve the problem with the same mind that created it. And so I need the help, I need the fellowship, and I need a program of direction in order to get myself out of it, you know? And but again, hey, you know, I'm a counselor, I'm a coach, and I know that 12 sub programs, not for everybody. So if you're not going to get into that, if you're not going to tap into that, that free resource, please. You know, give me a call. Get somebody connected with me, because either way, you're going to have to take an introspective look at, hey, what is your family situation been like? What are the things that you've been doing? What's the community that's around you? What's your what's your mental What's your physical? What's your spiritual life look like because of all those small changes? Because if you try and do it all at once, it's going to be way overwhelming. Got to make little, small, incremental changes. And when you do that, and you get on a course and a program of action, life will change. Life will get better, and you will have long term stability as well as sobriety. So I'm going to my next episode. I'm going to continue talking about this and the 12 step program, but I just want to kind of give you a little bit of a bite of of it goes way beyond just stopping. It has something to do with hey, let's address the shame. Let's address the guilt. Let's look at a program of action for ourselves. We're going to look at our strengths as well as our weaknesses and realize that, hey, we've just been making bad choices, we're not bad people, and that we have intrinsic value in this world. So I want to thank you all for listening today and until our next episode,

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remember, sobriety is a family affair.